Grumbling about Gates

A month or so ago, Bill Belichick was fined by the NFL for having illegal cameras on the sideline of New England Patriots games. This whole ridiculous story was frequently referred to by the media as "Camera Gate." I think that is the last straw for me with this whole Gate thing. In fact, I refuse to even look up all the other news stories that in the past couple of years have been summarized by a word added to the word Gate. You all know what I am talking about. How did the media live for like 30 years after Watergate without latching onto this and then all of a sudden it becomes a good idea? People, this is not like bellbottoms coming back! This is not like those silly dinner plate size sunglasses you see everywhere these days that I guess were "cool" in the 70's "too." That is a "style" that has come back. Why? No idea. Anyway, stop with all this Gate stuff. It's stupid. Camera Gate? WTF does that even mean?! Gate is now synonymous with "scandal" now I guess and it is a lazy-ass easy way of making a headline in the newspaper or sensational nightly news program. What if there were a scandal about the way someone walks? Like, what if John Edwards becomes president and one day he trips over a pigeon while walking down Pennsylvania Avenue, twists his ankle and starts limping... And then it comes out that it was a fake pigeon planted in front of his right foot by George Bush, who after leaving office was not allowed back into Texas or anywhere else for that matter, so he spends his days avoiding prison by roaming the streets of D.C. Would they call it Gait Gate?! I mean, John is now limping because of a scandalous fake pigeon that the former president put in front of his right foot! Gait Gate!!!! But wait there's more. What if George put a storm grate on the sidewalk and John tripped over that and started limping? Would it be Storm Grate Gait Gate?! I think the ultimate Gate would be if George, instead of holding a door open for John to enter the Rose Garden, he swung it into his face and they called it Gate Gate. Fox News would be all over that. And then maybe, finally, George would find himself in jail for assaulting the president with a gate. Not for the 10,000 other illegal things he has done, but for causing Gate Gate.